Movie Review: Prometheus

 

Well kiddies, I've finally gotten a chance within all this chaos to sit down and watch this film which I had previously not really cared about watching. All I can say is "Bravo, Ridley Scott. You have created an alien movie that managed to mindfuck me and actually keep me engaged and 'on the edge of my seat'." Do you know how hard it is for me to watch anything that is alien-related and not half fall asleep once its gotten started? I'd have an easier time wrestling with a cougar (the big cat kind not the sexy older women kind). But Prometheus is a whole different ball game. And just to confirm what people speculated on before in case you haven't already seen it: Yes this is a prequel to the Alien films, it's just not recognizable as one until the very end. Which oddly, I find very appealing about it. I'd half-forgotten that little tidbit of information about this movie, and was pleasantly reminded of that fact right before the credits rolled. Not to mention there is the very clever name of the movie, which is also the name of the ship. Anyone ever hear of that little old book called Frankenstein? Fun fact: It was also known as The Modern Prometheus (you learn something new every day). Seeing the correlation now? A doctor obsessed with making new life that ultimately turns on him after he wants to destroy it vs. Aliens that create life only to wind up wanting to destroy it and having it turn on them? I don't know if that's what Ridley Scott was aiming for in that, but it's nonetheless a clever little thing to throw in there. Anyway, this is a cool movie go see it.

P.S. Am I really out of the loop or did no one else know that a Carrie remake is happening either?

Just When You Thought the Fangasms Were Over

So I'm having a pretty average day (which is amazing to me considering my streak of luck has leaned toward the shit side of life lately). I just got out of taking a very hot bath to help with a headache and decided that I would put A Storm of Swords to the side for a minute to check online. I go on Facebook to the usual myriad of notifications and I find that my friend Pat has posted something on my Wall. On my Wall there is a picture of my favorite violinist, Lindsey Stirling, wearing camo gear, with a piano in the background, and some very familiar looking soldiers running behind her. Naturally, I recognize the Halo getup no problem. My only response to the post is "If that's Lindsey Stirling, then this calls for another fangasm." Lo and behold it is...

Let the fangasms commence once more for Lindsey Stirling is making a music video for HALO!

'Fifty Shades' Teaser Trailer on Youtube

Dear gods, my worst fears have been realized. I've already mentioned before that there is no way in hell that I will ever be reading Fifty Shades of Grey, so needless to say, I will avoid this movie like it is the fucking plague. I was hoping I could at least attempt to avoid any notice of when it was coming for another few months, but Youtube decided to destroy that miniscule ray of hope. In fact, I was still even holding out hope that maybe the rumors of the movie would remain just that. But even now I'm watching the teaser trailer and it is not making any kind of damn sense... It seems like it can't decide between being a commercial for some real rich-looking car or for some kind of new exotic cologne. I wish I was kidding and I'm not... See for yourself...

And none of the others are any better from what I've seen of the selection on youtube. I hope you guys appreciate just how much torture I just put myself through watching these damn things. Each one has this sappy, off-key music in the background that doesn't seem like it has anything to do with the actual story and none, I repeat, NONE of them give you a solid idea of what the fuck is supposed to be going on in this "story." And so far, the only type of BDSM they've hinted at is the guy putting the girl in a pair of handcuffs... Look at me! I'm so hardcore using handcuffs during sex! Give me a treat for being so bad! *headdesk* Not to mention I've seen a hint about something with a contract in one of the trailers. Are you serious right now? A contract? Someone... please... MAKE THE IDIOCY STOP!

Paranormal Activity 4...

Dear gods is this freaking franchise ever going to end? The first one did its job by scaring the shit out of me and making me hide my face in my exes arm during the final scene. But seriously, this series needs to die and not come back! How many bloody times can you really tell the exact same story over and over again? I saw Paranormal Activity 3 and the only real difference that I saw from Paranormal Activity was the fact that the entire thing got started because of a psychotic, cult-ridden grandmother... That and the fact that it focused on kids which was supposed to make it oh so much scarier. Please... The little girl befriends the demon! I'm done with all these "scary" movies that are just lame ideas. That being said, I'm not seeing this movie, I'm sick of this franchise. The end...

Getting to Know the Neighbor

A while ago, back when the Foamy reboot was first going, we met Germaine's new neighbor. And this guy isn't much of a step up from Anchovie... Well, I guess he isn't stalking her... yet...

Coming Soon to Theaters: Sinister

I am not looking forward to this particular horror film. Anyone who has read this blog since its creation or read back to the older posts, knows that most modern horror films have not been able to satisfy me as far as entertainment goes. This is mostly because most modern horror films rely on quick starts and jumps in order to scare an audience, rather than building up to a sense of lingering dread. Not to mention the special effects just don't do anything for me. When I can watch a horror movie from the 80's and feel nauseous because of the gore in it, then you know you're going a good job. Today's gore... LAME! Don't get me wrong, there were modern horror movies that did scare the ever-living crap out of me. The first Paranormal Activity freaked me the hell out, the rest of them... Not so much.

I've got a whole new gripe with the horror movie that I see advertised literally everywhere. This one is called Sinister. From what I'm gathering, a writer moves his family into a new home where there have been multiple murders reported. Several families have all lived and died in this house. Stop the script right there. If MULTIPLE families have died in a house, why in the hell would you decide to try and make this your dream home in the first place?! Forget haunting, how do you know that some psychopath doesn't stake the house out and manage to get away with the crimes? Anyway... The writer finds old home movies from one of the families. The more he watches, the more he starts seeing this "creepy" figure in the photos and movies. It turns out this character is a demon who feeds on human children. Stop yet again. If the demon feeds on children, why did the WHOLE family get killed every time? Anyway... Supposedly the photos and movies act as some sort of gateway that let's the demon in, and once he gets in, you can't get him out.

Now besides the two reasons I've already stated, there's one really huge thing that is just pissing me off / confusing the hell out of me. Take a look at this "demon" in the trailer...

You know what I think that "demon" looks a lot like?

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Yeah, I think it looks like one of Corey Taylor's old mask from Slipknot. Thus the creepy level on this one instantly gets tuned down and makes me want to start headbanging rather than hide under the blankets. I just know if I watch this movie, every time the demon gets screen time, I'm just going to point at the screen and say "Look! It's Corey Taylor!" and see how many people in the audience will get it...