'Fifty Shades' Teaser Trailer on Youtube

Dear gods, my worst fears have been realized. I've already mentioned before that there is no way in hell that I will ever be reading Fifty Shades of Grey, so needless to say, I will avoid this movie like it is the fucking plague. I was hoping I could at least attempt to avoid any notice of when it was coming for another few months, but Youtube decided to destroy that miniscule ray of hope. In fact, I was still even holding out hope that maybe the rumors of the movie would remain just that. But even now I'm watching the teaser trailer and it is not making any kind of damn sense... It seems like it can't decide between being a commercial for some real rich-looking car or for some kind of new exotic cologne. I wish I was kidding and I'm not... See for yourself...

And none of the others are any better from what I've seen of the selection on youtube. I hope you guys appreciate just how much torture I just put myself through watching these damn things. Each one has this sappy, off-key music in the background that doesn't seem like it has anything to do with the actual story and none, I repeat, NONE of them give you a solid idea of what the fuck is supposed to be going on in this "story." And so far, the only type of BDSM they've hinted at is the guy putting the girl in a pair of handcuffs... Look at me! I'm so hardcore using handcuffs during sex! Give me a treat for being so bad! *headdesk* Not to mention I've seen a hint about something with a contract in one of the trailers. Are you serious right now? A contract? Someone... please... MAKE THE IDIOCY STOP!