Eye Jewelry and Sick People

O.K., I'm definitely not one to knock body modifications. I currently have 11 tattoos and 7 piercings (you guess where), so the level of hypocrisy that I would be swimming in if I were would be astounding. But there is a certain point where you just have to stop and say "Fuck no!" Now I've gone through the Achilles Piercings and the Bagelheads and I'm not even going to get into the tattooed eyeball craze, but this is where I definitely draw the line.

Eye jewelry...

They quite literally take a pair of scissors to your eyeball and insert the jewelry into it. No fucking thank you... What I find the most stupid about all of this is the woman saying "It's going to set me apart." Seriously?... you couldn't set yourself apart just by getting tattooed with something custom-designed? Keep in mind this is not FDA approved and it cost this woman $3000 to get it done. I'm sorry, unless you're putting in a 64 karat diamond and giving me Lasik at the same time, I'm not shelling out that kind of money for a puny little heart that looks like a shiny parasite in my eye.

End Goth rant... begin Foamy Rant