Main Characters to Love and Hate

So within the past few days, I've watched two "new" movies. I put the new in quotes because the one I just attempted to watch is actually pretty old but I hadn't seen it yet. However, the other is completely new and still in theaters.

Over the weekend, my boyfriend and I decided to go and see Rise of the Guardians. Yes, it's a kids' movie, don't judge me... Anyway, it revolves around five major characters we all knew and loved as children; the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Sandman, and Jack Frost. Now while the first four get their spotlights and love from the children, Jack is almost never thought of, which frustrates him to no end. But when the Boogeyman makes his reappearance and tries to stop children from believing in these classic figures, Jack is actually the one who needs to rescue them all. Now, while Jack Frost is a cool character, the character I was honestly impressed and excited by was Santa. I'm not kidding! This was not your typical fat, jolly, rosy-cheeked Santa. This was a kick-ass, sword-wielding, Russian-speaking, TATTOOED Santa! Yeah! Santa had tattoos! And I'm not talking a small little elf on his forearm, I'm talking full-sleeve script design that is visible throughout the majority of the movie! Just look! Yup, that's Santa! How much more badass can you get than that? You can't, my friends... you can't.

Now on the flip-side of there was Blood and Chocolate. Long story short; this girl's a loup garoux (werewolf for those not obsessed with mythology), she's promised to the pack leader, but falls for a human, who winds up trying to kill her, and they flee into the sunset together, blah blah blah... I've read the book and honestly it was a hell of a lot more thought-provoking than the movie despite the fact that the book was written for hormonal, borderline ADHD teens. I'm pretty sure you were supposed to feel sympathy for Vivian and her human lover Aiden, but the only thing I could think about them was "Stupid fucking human and pathetic love-struck werewolf girl."

If anything this movie made me hate the human race more because of how Aiden acts towards the werewolves. Even though the loup garoux go over the line in this story, Aiden's just an asshole when you come right down to it. He yells at Vivian after having to defend himself from and kill her cousin for essentially "not leaving him alone" when she was trying to avoid him from the very beginning. He was just so arrogant and pushy that she kind of gave in out of desperation. Either way, even despite the obvious threat he poses to her family and the fact that he is obviously afraid of her and doesn't respect her, Vivian still risks her life to save his sorry ass. So yeah... a stupid, cowardly, asshole human and a pathetic, love-struck werewolf.

Where's How to Train Your Dragon so I can watch some non-pathetic teenaged characters?

Breaking Dawn Part 2

Oh dear gods my brain... Yes, I just went to see this pathetic excuse for cinema and nothing, not even blaring Slipknot from my car stereo can erase the mentally scarring memories from seeing this film >.< Ugh... I hope you people appreciate the pain I just put myself through for you. Actually I can blame most of this on Movie Bob via the Escapist because he reviewed it and said that people should see it just for the "FUN" of it... You don't believe me? Look here!

Personally, even that one awesome fight scene is not enough to make up for this mind-altering, horribly written crap. Yes it has vampires being ripped apart left and right, yes it has vampires being eaten by werewolves... I DON'T CARE! I want the one and a half hours of my life back that I wasted watching the rest of this crap >.< Uh huh huh huh *insert wailing here*

On the only positive note to come out of that experience, the previews I saw were really damn good. Yeah, how sad is that?! There were two in particular that caught my attention. One was entitled Warm Bodies which appears to be a remix on a traditional zombie flick. It's a romance from the view of a zombie kid trying to make a relationship with a girl who's still fully alive. Not the average zombie attack.

Next up on the list was a movie called Now You See Me. This one caught my attention because it has Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, and Woody Harrelson in it. I mean, damn. That's a hell of a cast right there alone. This one is like an updated version of The Prestige, only the magicians are all thieves and bank robbers with a major Robin Hood attitude tied to it. Basically they rob banks while their shows are in progress then hand it out freely to their audience members. But of course the FBI doesn't look on that very kindly and gets involved...

And not to mention there was the little tidbit thrown in about The Hunger Games: Catching Fire which is due to release in roughly a year. So, overall Breaking Dawn Part 2 completely and utterly sucks, but that wasn't anything that should come as a surprise to anyone. But at least we know that there are real films to look forward to in the near future.

And Another Fangasm Courtesy of Lindsey Stirling

No, it's not that Halo video that I got all of you drooling over. I actually went in search of it and found this instead. Enjoy!

Movie Review: The Devil's Carnival

After my agonizing failure of not being able to see Terrance Zdunich's The Devil's Carnival when it was making its tour through Pittsburgh, it was damn near torture waiting to actually see it. And now that I have seen it, all I have to say is "Bravo, Mr. Zdunich, bravo!"

Ok, I will grant that compared to Repo! it is a tad bit underwhelming. But when you factor in that the budget for this was more modest than the Repo! budge, you can't have that much to complain about. But come on! The movie revolves around Aesop's Fables! And part of the movie includes the Devil (played by Zdunich himself!) reading the story of The Scorpion and the Frog to a young boy. Now I normally geek over old-school fairy tales as it is, but they actually bring them to life in the scene of a carnival run by dear old Lucifer. Three people are brought to hell and act out their fabled counterparts as part of their punishment.
Plenty of the cast from Repo! is recognizable in the short film, and this time, you get the added bonus of having Emilie Autumn play the part of The Painted Doll. She's silent for a while, but comes out to sing what is easily one of my favorite songs from the movie (also a part of the Scorpion and Frog story). And Zdunich looks badass as the Devil, I meant just look at him!

Go and check this movie out, you can find it on Netflix now! And for those poor souls who don't have Netflix and have to wait to see it, here's a couple tidbits to cheer you up...

A Pessimistic Squirrel

So this newest episode of Foamy has given rise to pointing fingers at Foamy for being too negative... Um... Wait... Are you serious? You're trying to tell a cartoon character that he's being too negative when the world (and more specifically this country) have fallen into total shit and chaos and he's pointing it out for you all to see? Ok, first, are you blind?! If you haven't already noticed the world's going to shit, what rock have you been living under because move over, I want some space for that type of denial too! And two, you're talking about something that is available on the internet for entertainment purposes... Get your heads out of your asses and take a joke or go and get reality slapped. Some people may require all three...

And in case you couldn't tell, I am not in a good mood and thus completely unsympathetic to people's bitching and whining over stupid and inconsequential shit... 

Disney's Brave / Belated Happy Halloween

Hello again my little gothlings. I'm sorry I've been absent but this past Halloween hasn't quite been the best holiday experience I've had. But a Happy Belated Halloween to you all nonetheless. Anyone stuck around the Pittsburgh area knows about the weird weather conditions that caused them to move Trick-or-Treating to last night. There is something decidedly un-Halloween when not only does Trick-or-Treating night get moved to a night other than October 31st, but also AFTER the holiday... Anyway...

 

Now onto the news that I'm really excited about... Ever since I saw Brave in theaters, I couldn't wait to get it when it came out on DVD. And I've been wondering for months when that time was actually going to come around. I kept expecting to hear something every month, but it would always pass without any news and I'd be left disappointed.  Well now my longing can finally come to and end! As you can see I've added a new countdown and this time it for the release of Brave on DVD! Yes, people, I'm a goth and still a total nut for Disney. DON'T JUDGE ME!